I wrote this post in Chinese originally and was very popular with overwhelming responses. Then I thought the Aussie parents need to see this too. So here it is.
I don't have kids so at times I feel parents are just bizzare human species. They always said that they don't expect their kids to be professional performers, they just want to build up the kids confidence. (In fact, 100 percent of parents who come to me said that casually and easily). Hahaha. I just have to laugh and I will tell you why.
The other day I heard another friend asking me in a very puzzled way. He said " Susie I sent my daughter to speech & drama and singing for two terms but it didn't work! She still talks softly and still so timid. (Oh dear. You have no idea how hard I roll my eyes hearing that).
OK guys. Let me ask you a question, are you a confident person? If you are, tell me where your confidence comes from? And if you are not, why are you expecting them to be confident?
If there is a teacher out there, that you can send your kids to and they suddenly become very confident after a few lessons, then I will close my studio immediately and quit teaching all together. I will even pay you for your talent of finding such a teacher.
Let me explain. There are many ways to build up the confidence of the kids. Firstly, Confident parents produce confident kids ( not guarantee. But if you are not, kids are 100 percent won’t be. That I promise you ). There is no place that you can just send the kids to, spend the money and the kids will become confident as a result. Think inward first. Act within and be the person you want them to be.
Even if you find the right teacher, it's very important that the personalities and rapport between the teacher and the kids work well together. The quickest way for the kids to build up confidence is to slowly guide them out of their comfort zone. It's bases on the strategy of the teacher, but most important of all, it bases on the trust, the rapport and the hard work from both sides. Slowly conquer all the task and becomes better and better.
My English was quite bad before there is no way I can do public speaking well. The result of my constant public speaking win now is due to continuous goal setting, the right strategy and ongoing practice and practice. Slowly you will start to see results. And the more good results you get, the more confidence you develop. It's even more true when it comes to the kids. Secret confidence that imprint in them is what we want to see.
It's even more useful to use the power of friends. I use social media or any opportunities to make them know each other. Instagram can be powerful when you see how people you know sing it. It's motivation unconsciously.
There is no place that all you have to do is to spend money and can see result directly. Especially areas related to confidence, mental health or inner strength.
It's a team work. And you are part of the team too parents. In fact, be a confident parent first and be supportive without being bossy. That's the best way to be for all of us.
Soman Chainani, filmmaker and the New York time bestselling author (The school of good and evil) said make sure you have something to look forward to everyday.
Maybe it's your job, or basketball game after work, voice lesson, friends gathering or a date. Have something everyday that lights you up will keep your soul hungry to create more of these moments.
This week it has been raining cats and dogs but I still have something to look forward to everyday. I also deliberately try to exclude work. My work is fun anyway so it doesn't have to be included.
Lunch date in kirribilli
Japanese Lunch in city with friends
My first time lite and easy delivery
Flamenco class at night
Bushwalk from seaforth to Manly with a friend
Spicy Hotpot party
Lunch with friend in chatswood
You get the ideas.
Time goes pass quickly. You create your own excitement.
I love putting random students together and watch awesomeness coming out of awkwardness.
Music is fun this way. And also everyone works harder when another person is involved.
This was the first time they got together to try this song I like what I heard. (Ethan Age 17/Kate age 14).
I always think their voice type work very well with each other. When they did the song cit of star last year I was nearly drown in their awkwardness. One year on both of them has improved hugely in voice. Especially Ethan. It took me so much energy to work on pitch with him for a long time. And now I can not only get the pitch but also the phrasing and interpretation. He told me singing is such a stress relief for his intense year 11 work .
This is the first time Ethan and Kate did this song together. For a first time rehearsal I must say I was very impressed indeed.
It was totally fun. Not just for them. Totally for me too.
Even though my students get good results all the time, for me singing is not about winning.
Alicia didn't win this.
But here she showed e exacyt what I want to see. Awesome colaboration with the guitarist (he is awesome) and everyone is having fun.
You can see she feels confident and comfortable with herself there. For me that's the ultimate win.
That's why we sing. I didn't teach her all these years for nothing.
Singing is just a tool I use. Building confidence and self belief in kids is the real goal.
你知道我自己沒有小孩所以我常常覺得家長有時候是超奇怪的生物。你問他們為什麼送小孩子來上課（尤其是來我的）100%的家長都說因為他們想要build up the kids confidence.
那天我聽到一個朋友跟我說我也有送我小孩去學speech and singing for two terms but it didn’t work! （姊姊的白眼都已經翻到外太空回不來。）
小孩子的信心有很多不同的方法可以建立。第一，有信心的家長才會有有信心的小孩 ( not guarantee. But if you are not, kids are 100 percent won’t be. That I promise you ) 。不能夠只覺得送他去哪裡哪裡靠外力就可以。Think inward first. Act within and be the person you want them to be.
送他來這裡的以後也不是神藥。老師和學生的個性和rapport 是很重要。小孩建立信心的最快方法就是不停的慢慢地打破他們的comfort zone. 慢慢看到成果的時候他們的信心就會出來。
我以前英文爛的半死根本不可能public speaking . 這是不停的set goals and hardwork plus learning the right strategy 慢慢看到成果你就會有信心。小孩子更是一樣。
利用同儕的力量更是有用。我很會讓學生來互相認識用social media and 朋友的力量來無意識地給支持也同時給壓力。我們叫他們做沒有用，除非他們真的想做。我們說他們很棒也沒什麼用根本耳邊風。朋友說他們很棒才有用。
沒有一個地方你花了錢就會直接有好結果。尤其是anything related to confidence, mental health or inner strength.
要聽姐姐的話。I know kids. I really don’t want to know that much. But I do know enough.
Everyone said that my car is like the free uber service.
So many family and friends have been in my car and at least half of my students have been in my car too.
Everyone like my car saying it's cool but everyone complains how messy it is inside. "how come there are so many shoes and hats and books Susie?!" (gees . just get in and sit quietly with appreciative eyes ok)
I understand why kids don't like to bring umbrella cause I don't like it either. However these days the weather is going mad it just rains cats and dogs constantly. I really can't stand seeing kids soaking wet to my lessons.
If you are the first one in the afternoon please text me cause my car is always outside I can pick you up from bus stop within 20 seconds. And if you are not the first one please remember to bring an umbrella otherwise I will be shouting at you for 10 min before we even start. OK?!!
The kids today are really more anxious than in the past. It's so true.
I fist heard about smiling mind app from the mamamia network. The app is completely free and it really has very good program for kids/adults to do.
I can't speak highly enough for the app who is developed by clinical psychologists who really want to contribute to the mindfulness of the general public.
I organised an Uni friends reunion lunch today.
These days there are more kids than adults at reunion lunch like this. I made a booking of 15 people at the RSL club. I like RSL club cause the kids can entertain themselves well without bothering us.
After the big lunch four of us went to coffee at westfield.
We always take turns to organise big lunch regularly. Every time we see each other we notice that we look more or less the same but the kids are growing up rapidly.
Always enjoy catch up with long term friends. University year in my mind doesn't seem so far away cause we can still remember every detail vividly.
Time really goes fast.
I have done many different kinds of martial art trainings over the years. So I often joke about not tapping Susie on the shoulder randomly cause I might attack you out of muscle reflection!
To be honest this specific kind of martial art is a new thing to me. I like how it's very self defence base and prove to be a lot more practical than the wing chun and Karate that I have done before.
I go to my Sat training religiously. There are black belts boys in my class too. Martial art is very good for the kids.
I highly recommend it.
We were talking about different food options. Someone mentioned light n/ easy.
I can't believe we sign up for this. Now i am looking forward to see breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks all be done and delivered to me from Thursday next week.
I will do a vlog and review like that too.